Chapter 1
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1. "Oh, justin timberlake is so last month!"
3. "I listen to his interviews now with that squeaky little-brother voice, and I'm, "Uhhh! When did I ever find you attractive?""
4. "And what's up with his hair?"
6. "Cameron diaz will be glad to hear you've withdrawn from the race."

1. "So, who's your crush this month? Derek lubowski? I'm sure he'd be honored."
2. "Too embarrassed to say? He must be hot!"
3. "God, she's so stuck up!"

1. "Who's the villain of wuthering heights? Penny?"
3. Ggh! Emily bronte? For... Writing it? No...
4. "The nurse! For not getting them psychological help?"
5. "Aggie?"
6. "Emily bronte, for writing it and torturing her characters with depression."
7. "Creative! Good!"
8. Why does life hate me as much as I hate her?

1. WELL, HERE I AM, DEREK... GETTING A SUMMER JOB, JUST LIKE YOU LIKE!
4. “I think nothing’s sexier than a woman who works when she doesn’t have to.” — Derek Lubowski
7. IT WON'T BE SO BAD, SELLING TO BOOKWORMY-TYPES. I'LL PROBABLY BE THE ONLY GIRL IN THE STO-
9. "YOU?"
10. "JUST MY LUCK. MY HOROSCOPE TRIED TO WARN ME."













