Ruthless

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1. Ruthless.

1. "You're going to"

1. "Go prowling for girls when you get home?"

1. "Uh..?"

1. "Oh jimin, is that jealousy I hear?"

1. "What? No. I don't get jealous."

1. It was true.

1. I'd never gotten jealous of any other girls.

1. Could I be jealous of the idea of another girl hanging around sera...

1. ...while I'm halfway across the world?

1. That idea had never crossed my mind before.

1. I hadn't thought about her spending time with all of her friends from home.

1. "Well, maybe..."

1. "A little bit."

1. "But only because I've seen how gorgeous one of your exes is."

1. "I can only imagine what the others look like!!!"

1. "Trust me there will be no prowling on my part."

1. "I'll probably spend most of my time depressed because I'll be missing my girlfriend."

1. It struck me suddenly...

1. I had never asked sera about her past relationships. 2. ...and after meeting

1. Isabelle this afternoon

1. "Ugh.. I wish I could stay." 2. The conversation they had, it was

1. They had, it was not possible to not think about it. 2. "Sera, have you..."

1. "...were there many others before me?"

1. "!"

1. I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear the answer after seeing her reaction.

1. "I wasn't always the person you know now."

1. "I used to be..."

1. "Well, less considerate."

1. "I used to play around a lot, not really caring about feelings..."

1. "..mine or anyone else's."

1. "How many?"

1. "Too many to count."

1. "..and none of them mattered, not really."

1. Too many to count?

1. The range could span from one to a hundred girls or more...

1. "I've changed a lot since then."

1. "Being with you, I'm happy."

1. "You've given me something real, something I didn't even know I was missing."

1. "Do you ever miss it?"

1. "The excitement,"

1. "The variety?" 2. I needed to know if her feelings for me were as deep and exclusive as mine were for her.

1. "Not for a second."

1. "What I have with you is deeper and more meaningful"

1. "Than any thrill I experienced before." 2. "You're not just another girl to me, marin."

1. "Jimin."

1. "I believe"

1. "...you."

1. "It's just a lot to take in. You're really different now, and I like you this way."

1. "I was just really surprised."

1. I couldn't imagine her with so many others.

1. "You know, jimin..." 2. "Back home, I wasn't always..."

1. "...careful with people's feelings."

1. "I guess I was trying to prove something, not just to myself but to everyone around me."

1. "What do you mean?"

1. "I was rebellious, you could say."

1. "I didn't take relationships seriously."

1. "I thought if I could upset enough norms, maybe I'd stop hurting from all the rejection..."

1. "Or...from my dad's inability to accept who I am."

1. Hearing sera's words, a sharp pang of realization hit me.

1. It was one

1. It was one thing to know she had a complex past... 2. ...another to hear just how deep her wounds ran.

1. I felt a sudden empathy for her.

1. "From my dad's inability to accept who I am."

1. Yeah, right...I had always taken for granted the acceptance I received from the people around me.

1. No one had ever questioned my

1. Sexuality or made me feel less for it. 2. Not once.

1. The realization that sera hadn't had that same acceptance broke my heart.

1. "Everything led to some... Messy situations."

1. "...people got hurt because I wasn't thinking about tomorrow, just the rush of today."

1. "And there was one person who..."

1. "...got more"

1. "Just more hurt than others."