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Ruthless

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页面14,412 / 15,007第 137 章

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章节 137

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1. Ruthless.

1. "Are you really dating her exclusively now, unnie?"

1. She says 'her' like she's disgusted with

1. The idea.

1. I figure she's up to something..

1. Because by now I have no doubt she knows damn well that we're dating.

1. "Sure am, su-a"

1. "So..."

1. Su? What does su

1. What does su even stand for? Sujin? Subin? Suyeon? Sumin?

1. I don't know if I

1. I don't know if I should feel relieved she's using a nickname or annoyed by it.

1. It sounds way too personal..

1. Personal.

1. But then again, sera never calls me by mine.

1. ...and we're as close as I know how to be with someone.

1. "Aww unnie, so that means I don't get any more rides on the motorcycle?"

1. "It's so hot when you hold me tight around the waist while we take those twists and turns."

1. "Where am I...?"

1. "!"

1. And just like that, I'm sober.

1. I'm sober.

1. Thanks a lot, bitch.

1. I stare at her...

1. ..but su-whatever just stands there smiling at

1. There smiling at me, fully aware of what she's doing.

1. "You've been on the motorcycle with sera?"

1. "Are you sure it wasn't sunho?"

1. "Oh, I know exactly who was grabbing me from behind."

1. "It was definitely this beautiful lady right here."

1. When the hell did this happen?

1. If she's bringing it up now... Was it while we were dating?

1. Or before? Does it even matter?

1. I've been asking

1. I've been teaching sera to drive on that motorcycle since the first day I met her.

1. Every time she brushed it off.

1. Every time she said it

1. She said it was too dangerous... 2. That she didn't let people drive around.

1. Except she clearly did.

1. "...what are you talking about?"

1. "!"

1. "You remember, silly. It was that night after the game."

1. "When we"

1. "Were all at that party."

1. "Actually, it"

1. "Actually, it was at your guys' apartment."

1. She smiles bright pretending to stare off like she's replaying the world's sweetest memory.

1. Sweetest memory.

1. And it hits me like a punch to the stomach.

1. "You came up to me and asked me to leave with you, remember?"

1. She's the girl sera left with at

1. That party...

1. "We had so much fun. I had so much fun driving it."

1. "Shut up, su. I took you home and that was it."

1. "Stop twisting the story and dragging my girlfriend into whatever game you're playing."

1. "Please, just leave."

1. "Tsk.. Se you around unnie."

1. She knows exactly what she did. 2. My uncle

1. My whole body goes cold.

1. "Jimin.."

1. On one hand, I don't have the right to be mad...

1. I'm going to be mad.

1. ..I remember that night, how I pissed sera off, how I pushed her away...

1. ...how I told her to back off and leave me alone.

1. And she did, she left with her.

1. "Talk to me, jimin."

1. Why the motorcycle? She could've taken the car.

1. Or walked her home.

1. I don't know. She could've done anything else.

1. "Don't do this, jimin. Don't you dare start running from me."

1. "I get to at least explain"

1. "The situation."

1. She's angry, but it's not at me, not fully.

1. "What's there to explain?" 2. It's the kind

1. Of anger that comes from fear.

1. "I think I understand pretty clearly."

1. "I told you to back off from me that night, and anything that happened after that... I deserved."

1. She doesn't get it. This is my fault,

1. Not hers.

1. "There's nothing you deserved."

1. "When I left with her that night and"

1. "Her that night and got all the way down to the garage, I only had the keys to the motorcycle."

1. "And I was so angry with myself and with you that I just needed to get out of there as soon as possible..."

1. "So I got on the bike with her."

1. "I'm sorry, babe."

1. Her

1. That explanation makes sense, it really does.

1. Yet "She let her drive it, and not me." why?

1. I can't stop thinking about it even if I don't

1. Say it aloud.

1. But I know she can see it all over my face.

1. I lower my eyes because I can't bring myself to

1. Bring myself to look at her. 2. She has no reason to apologize...

1. The truth is that the problem isn't su, and it

1. Isn't loud, and it isn't the motorcycle...

1. ...it's everything else.

1. Everything that has been piling up

1. Has been piling up in my head for days without giving me a single moment to breathe.

1. I get her, but it's the accumulation...

1. This slow, suffocating pressure that makes even the smallest thing feel personal..

1. Even when I know logically that it isn't.

1. "Let's go home so we can talk, please."

1. "Oh, I definitely can't go home yet, I have way too"

1. "I have way too much alcohol to consume before this night's over."

1. "And seeing as how that bitch just sobered me up, I'm not too happy I have to start from square one now."

1. "Hah..."

1. "I'm not mad at you, sera. I understand."

1. I need to get away from everyone before I ruin

1. Everything is the only thing I can think about.

1. If they would all just leave me alone until after tomorrow...

1. Congratulations

1. ...I swear I'll go back to normal, or at least to whatever version of normal I'm good at pretending to be.

1. I just need space

1. Until then, yet I can't explain that without unraveling in front of them.

1. I stare at the three of them, begging them to

1. Begging them to understand me without making me say it out loud.

1. "Of course you're mad."

1. "Why else would you be trying to run away from me right now?"

1. "You're always running when we should be talking!"

1. "Talking!"

1. "I'm not mad."

1. "I just... I just"

1. "Need to be left alone."

1. "I swear I'll be okay after tomorrow."

1. "I just can't deal with this right now. Please. Just trust me."

1. "!!!"

1. "What the hell does that mean?"